Life is a written journal, not a Word doc.....

The Moving Finger writes; and, having writ, Moves on: nor all your Piety nor Wit Shall lure it back to cancel half a Line, Nor all your Tears wash out a Word of it-- Omar Khayyam  (Poem #545, Rubaiyat, Fitzgerald translation)

A few weeks ago, in his weekly sermon at Frisco Bible Church, the Rt. Rev. Dr. Wayne Braudrick posited a hypothetical question: in essence, were the opportunity given to you, would you go back and edit your personal history?   Would you change your past to clean things up, or to enhance something, or...most of all... to correct a regret?

I immediately thought of 'the moving finger' quote, which I first learned of from reading, of all things, the novelization of the Star Trek original series by James Blish.  The episode 'Tomorrow is Yesterday' deals with a time paradox, when the Enterprise is cast back in time to the 1960's and is spotted in Earth's atmosphere by an Air Force pilot.  They lock the tractor beam on his plane, but it breaks up from the force of it, so they beam him aboard.  They then learn that they must put him back somehow, as he has a significant contribution to history which had not occurred yet.

I won't spoil how they solve it, but in the novelized version, after they do, Spock says "And thus we have revised Omar", referring to the quote above.

Would you revise Omar in your life?  What regrets do you hold?

I am normally of the mind that hanging on to regrets is a great disservice to one's self... and yet it would be intellectually dishonest to say that I don't have things in my own life that I wish I had done differently, things that creep into the corners of my mind occasionally, especially during times of solitude or reflection.  It's natural for these things to poke at you, raising conjectures of what might have been if different choices had been made, if one had possessed future knowledge in a past moment, if... if... if....

The dark side of this natural happenstance, however, is when these thoughts become IF...IF...IF.IF.IF.IF.IF, for obsessing over regrets leads down a path of despair, and dissatisfaction of the present moment of you.  These memories serve a purpose as a learning tool, to help you make better decisions in the future, but no one is defined purely by their mistakes.

They are defined by what they have become in spite of the mistakes.

Every single, precious, human being is a masterwork of many variables, variables that consist of both what they are (their genetic makeup as a work of God), and what they have learned (the choices they make, with the free will God grants his children).  The summation of these variables is what makes you unique... there are just too many variables involved for there to be even the remotest possibility of anything other than.... you.  Or me.  Or anyone.

Each one is a singular artistic masterpiece, painted or sculpted, and weathered by the time of our decisions and experiences.

So, consider your regrets:  would you want to 'edit' them?

I do not. (Mine, not yours.  You're on your own for yours)  Yes, I have regrets; things I wish I had done or not done, or choices I wish I had made differently.  Some of these things caused pain in the moment, and can still cause some pain in the reflection.

But I would not revise Omar.  The 'moving finger' has writ my life so far, and although I hope to learn and become better from what is has journaled of me.... I would not cancel a single line.

No more hiding! (AKA.... 'Make it so')

"His not-abundant confidence was further sapped by the sudden loss of his hair, starting in his teens.  [Sir Patrick] Stewart employed a series of hats, comb-overs, and simply walking with his head down to avoid detection.  "Wind was a nightmare," he remembers. 

Then a pal did an intervention.  Stewart had a Hungarian director friend who invited him for lunch one day.  After eating, the Hungarian and his wife disappeared into the kitchen.  They emerged with scissors, and the Hungarian   placed Stewart in a bear hug while his wife snipped off his remaining wisps of hair. 

"My friend took my shoulders in his hands and yelled, 'No more hiding!'",
"Captain Fantastic",  (Article about Patrick Stewart), Mens Journal June 2014 

In our modern culture, I sometimes shake my head, (my smoothly shaven chrome-dome), at the amount of money, time, and emotion expended by the men of our times.... in order to retain some vestige of a full head of hair.

Now, I have always been of the mind that this is a wide, wide world, with lots of people in it... and room for all kinds of tastes, interests, etc... if someone wants to spend their hard-earned money on Rogaine, or implants, or toupees... who am I to judge?  And yet....

When I read this article in Men's Journal, about the utterly magnetic Sir Patrick Stewart, I felt a desire to write about this incident from his early years, and how perfectly it captured my feelings on male baldness, and to share that to my brethren of the Human Race.

I will praise You because I have been remarkably and wonderfully made.

Your works are wonderful, and I know this very well.  (Psalm 139.14, HCSB)

Here's a news flash:  you were designed... your incredible special person created by a loving God, your inevitable, inexorable code laid out in double-helical artistry that resulted in a perfectly unique masterpiece.   And guess what?  That includes your head, and every single follicle thereupon....

Like Sir Patrick, my hair began its Exodus while I still had a "1" at the beginning of my age.  I often jokingly relate one of my favorite anecdotes about how I knew the moment of the beginning of the end:  when the smoking-hot hairstylist at the hip hair place in Austin told the cashier to charge me half-price because the cut didn't take very long.... (OUCH).  Yes, I struggled with it at first, but before long the ethos expressed in Psalms sank in... and I realized that I was sculpted this way.  

So, I make a call to all the would-be William Shatners of the world... look at your head... ixnay the ug-ray, and love yourself.  As you were made.  

But... (shout-out to Dr. Wayne Braudrick here).. in that Gordon Gekko voice of yours... you say "Men without good hair won't succeed in our society".  To wit:

• It will hurt my love life:   Bullocks.  If the woman you woo won't love you without hair, move on and find one who will.   You want a mate/lover/SO who likes you for WHO YOU ARE.  Women respond to confidence.  Trust me on this.
• It will impede my career advancement:   I will grant that this is a possibility... but the business world also sees and knows when a man is working too hard to put back what's not there... everyone knows.... just so you know.
• A lack of hair means ridicule:  Bullocks again.  The world is changing, and bald is the new sexy.  For whatever it's worth, the tide of  popular culture is turning, and the bald male celebrities are not seeing their "Q" ratings suffer... not like they used to... 

When it boils down to it, gentlemen... confidence is sexy.  

     Accept and like yourself... exactly like you were made.

          Hold your bald(ing) head high.  

               Embrace the way you were lovingly crafted.

No more hiding!

Artistic Quirks and Deformed Biscuits

One of the most fascinating things about this crazy collective of madness called the human race is how people develop their own little quirks... things that would be impossible to predict about someone, and yet when the quirks reveal themselves... we immediately think... "That is so him/her/them."

When I make biscuits for our morning breakfast, I cut the biscuits from the kneaded dough with a circular cutter... but on the last one, I tend to just grab the remaining dough and hand-form the biscuit, patting it down on the baking stone.

For some reason, my son Logan has latched onto this 'final biscuit', claiming it as his own each and every time I make them.  He calls it the 'deformed biscuit' and it makes his morning to be the first one to grab it.

I have no idea why... but it is so Logan.

And you, dear reader, might ask:  "Why is this worthy of a blog post, even in this blog?!?"

Because.... it is little quirks like this... that complete the masterpiece of artwork that is each of us... us fallen, 'deformed' humans, so beautiful and fascinating.  Those who would say we are 'accidents of an evolving universe' are missing something.  In any work of art, there are little signs of the artist... the way a painter makes a whorl of paint, or a potter carves a piece... these little details transform a pot or a painting into... something beautiful, artistic, and divine.

Those kind of signatures aren't an accident.   They are loving strokes of a Creator, who cares about us and makes us each unique, with our own little quirks.  Delightful quirks, maddening quirks, endearing quirks, infuriating quirks.... but they are ours.  And they were woven into us by a master.

Momma, I'm home...

One of the very few drawbacks of being at camp for 2 months each summer is the disconnect from our church home.  One can continue one's personal study of the Bible, and prayer life, etc.... but all Christians need to have a place to gather with those who share their doctrinal beliefs, a place of warmth, acceptance, accountability, and fellowship.   Those who follow Christ are instructed to come together, to worship together, and to serve the world and each other.  For the Welch clan, that home is Frisco Bible Church.

And today, for the first time in many weeks, I sat with my whole family and worshiped and fed on the Word with my extended (church) family.

Of course, there was the joy of seeing friends we have not seen in a while, and the personal gratification of the warmth of the greetings from them (one of Allison's friends... her face beamed so brightly on seeing my lovely wife I thought her skull might explode from the force of it...).  And to be lead by the worship band in songs of praise is always uplifting.  But the real worth is the teaching of the Right Reverend Dr. Wayne Braudrick.

Pastor Wayne amazes me.  Somehow he manages to balance the line between teaching at an erudite level and yet remaining engaging enough for the masses.  I've been going to church all my life, and I have studied a ton of things pertaining to all things Christian... let's just say that a shallow, surface skimming sermon or study is not going to offer me much in the way of teaching me something completely new.

And yet, somehow I come out of Frisco Bible every Sunday... and I mean every Sunday... having learned something new;  some nuance I had never thought before, or some historical background or some minor detail that just enriches and deepens my understanding or knowledge of the Word of God, or the magnificence of God's end-to-end plan for this wretched human race.

And Dr. Braudrick does it all without making it feel like a seminary class lecture.  He's engaging and funny without detracting from the lesson he wishes to impart.  Sometimes he's stern... never afraid to strap us for our shortcomings while showing us what God has laid on his heart; but invariably, by hook or crook, he teaches.  And he teaches in a way that everyone, no matter whether they gravitate to the scholarly or otherwise, will learn and learn well.

And teaching like that is ***hard*** to do.  Trust me.

Of course, he will tell you that it's only by God's grace that he has the skill and insight to teach with such balance;  he's right of course, but I also know how hard he works and prepares to lead his flock.

And thanks to his dedication, and that of the worship band, and all those who work hard to make our services happen.. my soul was fed this morning.

I already miss camp, and my camp family.  But, as it turns out... I have all kinds of families lying around... my blood family, my camp family, and my church family.  Today, I reunited with my church family.

And it was good.  Very good.

Ambushed by a Moose Pond.. and a bakery

(Alas, I am running a bit behind on my blog here.  Time to play catch-up.  Which is entirely different than playing 'Salt', which is my name for a popular game in the dining hall- where campers try to slide the salt shaker across the table, hoping to gauge the slide so that the shaker stops right at the edge with a bit hanging over... but I digress.   This post concerns my adventuring 2 weeks ago, on July 4-5)

One of the best parts of coming to camp as a (quasi) staff member is the plethora of wonderful opportunities available to you on your day off-- there is so much to do, to explore, and new discoveries to make;  I really do feel that, no matter how many summers I end up spending here, there will always be some little delightful, heretofore unknown thing just waiting around the corner.  One of those occurred as I went to breakfast on my Saturday morning.

Allison has Sundays off, and that is our main "trip" day.  Thus, I often have the other half of my weekend to myself, assuming I can recover from my Friday deep-night camp watchman duty with sufficient energy to get out and about.  Since I sleep until sometime mid-morning, the first activity of the day is brunch, usually in North Conway (NH), at either Priscilla's or the Stairway Cafe, my two favorite haunts for a bit o' eggs, bacon, and syrupy delight.

In order to avoid the awful traffic on the main thoroughfare in NC, experienced visitors use the side roads to approach and park, and on this day I parked on a side road I had not used before; as I walked toward the restaurant, I noticed a little covey of businesses tucked behind the houses... and to my delight I noticed a bakery that I had no idea existed.

The little bakery behind the houses

I love bakeries.  There are few things in this world as aromatic as the smell of fresh bread cooking, and the yeasty incense wafted down this tree-lined entrance.  I'm sure the look on my face was not much different than Charlie had when he discovered his possession of the Golden Ticket to the Chocolate Factory.

But first, breakfast.  I would abstain from the bakery for just a short while in search of protein.  The Stairway cafe is an eclectic place with incredible menu options, including various wild game sausages.

The "North Country Hiker"breakfast... yummmmm

The presentation is wonderful, the food delicious; it's been a delight of mine for 3 years.  This year marked two minor changes that intrigued me:  they had added air conditioning, in the form of a window unit; and the paint job on the signature stairwell was disappointingly uniform.  When I first discovered the restaurant, the words to the first verse of "Stairway to Heaven" were painted on the risers of each step.  They actually repainted them last year, but when I inquired about the words I was told that they would be repainted on the new coat as well.  Alas, they were not, and one of the quirky aspects that delighted me seems to have gone the way of the dodo.  As for the A/C, it was a welcome addition, but also changed the feel a bit... in the past I would choose Stairway only on the cooler mornings, when the breeze coming through the open balcony door was sufficient to keep this hot-natured boy comfortable.  Now, that decision factor no longer comes into play, and they keep the balcony door closed.   Minor points, I know, but I get nostalgic about such things sometimes.

After breakfast I walked the main street for a bit, and took in an arts and crafts fair benefiting the Senior Center.  There were a handful of booths, and I missed my wife the most as I wandered through, for the smell of fresh kettle corn was drifting from the center outwards; Allison dearly loves kettle corn, and I'm sure I would have lost some coin in my belt pouch if she had been with me!  At one booth, I met a fellow potter.  I have been studying and learning pottery for the past year, having both a modicum of success and a wonderful time to boot.  Now one thing about Maine and New Hampshire... they are magnets for artistic types.  You can't swing a kayak paddle around here without hitting a pottery shop.  However, many of them are often shops featuring the work of masters, and stuff that is light-years beyond my capabilities at this point.

My pottery acquisition

I truly enjoyed meeting this lady and browsing through her works because, although she was a more advanced potter than I, her techniques and styles were much more similar to the ones I'm learning, so I felt a kinship with her and her pottery.  Sort of a "this is where I will be before too long" feeling.  I honored the kinship by purchasing one of her pieces.

And then I headed to the bakery.  I won't attempt to write how I felt when I went inside.  It was a vicarious experience that I would have to mind-meld with you to share.  Suffice it to say I bought I loaf of bread to take back to the cabin with me, for snacking on later that day.

Matthew, all set to run fou

Prudence demanded that I head back to the cabin for a nap, but instead I headed to Bridgton, a town just to the east of Fryeburg.  I had been there just the day before, to watch Matthew and other IA/FA campers running in the annual "Four [mile] on the Fourth".  However,it had been drizzling rain all day, and my favorite bookstore was closed, so I went back the next day.  I wanted to go to the bookstore, by gum.

Bridgton is a neat little town with good shopping, dining, and (dare I repeat myself) a great little bookstore.  I believe the town is mentioned in several Stephen King novels, although I can only personally confirm that for the "Dark Tower" series.  Despite the fatigue that was starting to set in, I wandered through the narrow aisles between bookshelves, picked up a few things on clearance, and also selected an anthology of works by Maine poets.  A few more pictures taken, some butter for the bread purchased at Food City, then it was time to head back to camp.

One last little note on the "discovery" theme.  This country up here has a way of 'ambushing' you with scenic vistas.  The prevalence of heavily wooded areas, composed of extremely tall pine trees, can provide a veil of sorts that hides things from you until the last minute;  in the flatter, rolling landscapes of Texas and the Southwest, where the horizon is almost always visible, this doesn't occur so much.

Although I've made the drive to Bridgton many times now, I still recall vividly one such ambush the first time I drove there, and decided to recreate for you as best as possible.   On the way to is a lovely little lake called Moose Pond.  For my money, it's large enough to be called a lake, but up here, they call such things ponds, so we'll go with that.  But the only warning you get is the existence of the kayak/tube/paddleboard shop just up the hill from Moose Pond, and BOOM! you go from forest to an exquisitely beautiful lake straddling both sides of the road.  I guarantee you my pictures don't do it justice.

Just a country road through the pines...

this is less than 1/10 of a mile from the other photo. Promise

So, one never knows when one might be ambushed by a Moose Pond or a bakery.  The only option is to get out there and see what happens... see what you can find.  Here in Maine... or New Hampshire... or anywhere.

Two Lives to Live

Last night, Allison and I were returning from a date night and, having dined and shopped in North Conway, we were driving across the main road headed into Fryeburg, when Allison said:

You know, it's like we live two lives.  Our Texas life, and then our Maine life.

That phrase has stuck in my mind all day.  It was a keenly astute observation...  This is now our third summer living here in Maine, and working/living/playing at this camp... but I have noticed that this year, for the very first time, Maine feels a bit like a second home to me.  A new home, full of things I've yet to discover or enjoy, but a home nonetheless.

[caption id="attachment_332" align="alignleft" width="194"] A new magazine for me to take on... (Source: Internet, www.msspa.org)[/caption]

When we were checking out at the grocery store, I saw a copy of "DownEast" magazine ('The Magazine of Maine Est.1954!);  it caught my eye primarily because it was a "Best of Maine" issue, and looked like we might get some ideas from it on how to spend our Sundays this summer.  Sunday is Allison's official day off, and we try to cram in a trip to somewhere exciting, but we keep it in a fairly decent radius so we get back in time for Sunday night campfire.

That's the joy of our new 'home'... each summer, we try to find something different to explore, or go do something we have yet to do together but might have done separately.  This Sunday, our plan is to go to Boothbay Harbor, a quaint seaside town northwest of Portland;  Allison has been there but I have yet to, and with my love of the ocean and seaside communities, it looks to be right in my sweet spot.

There's so much to learn about Maine... even a short recreational drive not far from here yields heretofore unseen sights;  tonight I drove into Fryeburg to purchase something at one of the convenience stores, and decided to head south on a road I have passed many many times, but never explored.... and I discovered a wonderful climb up the mountain until I looped back into Fryeburg from the south.  (This trip might warrant a later blogging..)  Someday, I want to sample my second life during the winter, for a short trip.   Given the well known reputation for the harsh winters here, some might call that nuts, but I want to experience my second home with snow; maybe a family Christmas trip might be arranged some year in the future.

[caption id="attachment_333" align="alignright" width="220"] The magazine of my first life. (Source: www.texashighways.com)[/caption]

And yet, as much as there is to learn about Maine, I realized as I mulled this blog topic over in my mind today-- there is a lot I can still learn about Texas.  We are all guilty of this- how often do the local folks never go to the great art museum, or botanical gardens, etc, etc, etc, that is the highlight of the 'Visitor's Guide to X town in X state'?   At my first home, I recently subscribed to the magazine "Texas Highways", which is a counterpart in many ways to the "DownEast" I was reading today.  And I've begun to make a list in Evernote of the places I want to go in Texas, or the restaurants I want to try, that I have read about in those pages.

In the latest issue I just finished (ironically, here in Maine), I found an article on small music hall in downtown Galveston, where great folk/acoustic music can be heard... the place is apparently quite legendary.  I passed the link to the article on to a Facebook Friend, whom I know loves folk/acoustic music, and asked her if she had ever been there, for it's only a short drive from her home in Houston.  She admitted that she had not, and that was "bad on her!"  A little gem of Texas, right there in her backyard, that will be just her kind of place for a night out.  You are welcome, Ms. Stinson!

So I challenge you- where ever you make your life, be it one life, two lives, or three or more... explore.  Learn.  The world is a big ol' huge place with lots of fun and quirky and entertaining stuff just around the corner.  Go find it.  Get out from in front of the TV/computer/xbox/whatever, and go explore.  Learn about your home.

As for me, as I read the "DownEast" on the elliptical machine this morning, I decided right then and there that I would subscribe to it as soon as I return to Texas... and I will read and dream about my second home, our second life, until I am able to return once again.

The right place for the old ways

Anyone who knows me will tell you that I'm weird in a myriad of ways, more than I have time to document or you have desire to read.  But the oddity du jour is this:  I am as wired and into technology, etc, as any modern computer geek you will find (limited only by the fact that I can't justify spending too much money on gadgets...), but I have a vicious streak of anachronism in me.

I love old things, and doing things the old way.  Things that have, to some degree, become passe fascinate me to no end.  I have a drawerful of calligraphy equipment, I just purchased a wooden longbow that I plan to use in favor of my modern compound bow, I pretty much prefer an honest-to-goodness paper book to my various e-reader options... the list could go on.

I don't utilize these things all the time.  Most days I write with a modern pen (and very particular ones, different for the whatever I'm doing at the time, thank-you-very-much).  But sometimes I like to pull out the parchment and a dip pen and ink- heck I might even go whole hog and wax the missive shut with my seal.

I think for me, it's a connection to the past sort of thing... when I write on parchment with said pen, I can't help but think that this was the exact same way Timothy Matlack scritched out "When in the Course of human events...."  One doesn't get that same historical mojo with a disposable Bic and a post-it note...  my compound bow is a good sight easier to shoot, and shoot accurately, than a bare longbow.   But when I draw that traditional bow, I'm in Sherwood Forest or participating in the Battle of Agincourt.

[caption id="attachment_329" align="aligncenter" width="300"] The oven at Flatbreads... the pizzas sit on stone shelves to the right and left of the fire, inside the dome.[/caption]

So what does this have to do with camp?   Simple.   This place is the right place to enjoy old school.  The camp and surrounding countryside offer ample opportunities to connect to the past.  The thought for this blog came to me as we dined at Flatbreads (an artisan pizza joint in North Conway, NH).  I was watching them make the pizzas and slide them onto the stone shelves in the oven with long wooden paddles... and as I stared into the fire of the oven, I loved the utter simplicity and timelessness of it.

Now, I know there are wood-fired pizza places elsewhere.  But as I ruminated on that fireplace, I began to realize just how much around here touched that same vein in me:   the many covered bridges, the simple farms, the last active human-powered water lock for boat passages in the country... and every year I discover more.

And then there's camp.   This place permeates with age and connections to the past.

[caption id="attachment_328" align="alignleft" width="300"] Just so you know... I have *will not* be shooting my longbow in my skivvies[/caption]

All around the dining halls there are murals depicting young men participating in camp activities... and they weren't commissioned last year, if you catch my drift.  One of my favorite places is the Alumni lounge, where a century of Color War results adorns the walls and rafters, a mosaic of red and brown arrowheads pointing backwards, tugging us to the memories generated here.

[caption id="attachment_327" align="alignright" width="300"] Look closely and you can see Brown has won the last 3 years. My boys aim to change that![/caption]

Generations of family men have come here- Allison and I are housed in an unused campers cabin, and every year on Parent's Weekend, we get people knocking on the door, wanting to show their camper the cabin that Dad stayed in when they were little. (And the same thing happened at Forest Acres the year we were there... mom showing daughter!)

Like the old ways I enjoy, camp is not a constant thing.  It comes out when it is needed, and we are allowed to reach out and touch, and feel the vibrations of history, and of things simply done and done well.  Whether it's a longbow, or tug-of-war, or young men singing a song about the Saco River, we know that we follow in the tracks of those who have done it before.

Let us revel in it....