The Joy in the Journey

"There is a joy in the journey" -- Michael Card

Our annual trek to Maine was a tad different this year:  we added some time for a family vacation into our travel plans.  This began as an entirely self-serving notion that I would, at the mid-point of camp and close to my birthday, take myself off to NYC and see Les Misérables on Broadway.   The idea was to keep costs down, and took into account the reality that Allison can't really be gone more than one day at a time from camp... and I really had a very good plan.  When I pitched the plan to She Who Must Be Obeyed, the response was immediate and adamant.  'NO'.   As in "No, we're all going to go together.  As a family"

The impending college departure of these teenage boys of ours has momma thinking about the time we have left before they go off to be adult men... and a trip to NYC seemed right in the wheelhouse for building family memories prior to that event... and so I said the only thing a man can say when faced with such a situation:

"Yes, dear"

Long before any of this, I had also threatened a co-worker with swinging by and actually meeting him for the first time IRL (for you non-geeks who are over the age of 25:  "in real life").  See, I work from home... and most of my work relationships are entirely virtual.... but this young man has become a good friend even in the virtual world, so we agreed to meet at his house and have some smoked meats and sundry sides.


He's pretty darned good with a meat smoker, and getting to meet him and his lovely family was the
perfect way to start off our summer!

We also swung by the USNA while we were in Annapolis.  We we short on time, so we bought some souvenirs, a sticker for the van's rooftop box, and looked around a bit.  We thought about getting out in old downtown Annapolis and roaming around, but since it was somewhere in the vicinity of 100% humidity, and hotter than it was back in Texas (no, I'm not joking), and the parking garage was full, we did a short driving tour.  Got to see a drawbridge open and allow some big sailboats go through.  We were probably the only vehicle on that bridge who thoroughly enjoyed the delay... it's not a sight we see every day back in Prosper.

Then it was time to head to Big Apple.  After a quick stay in South Jersey (What exit?  Exit 3!), we made it out alive and headed up the turnpike.  After donating $13 to NJ and $15 to NY to traverse the NJT and the GWB, we arrived at our hotel in Yonkers, and headed to the Yankees game.  It was an absolutely perfect day for baseball, and our seats were just under the awning.  Much food was acquired.  The Yankees still stink.  (which I think all the time, but they really do this year.  It was not a particularly exciting game for Yanks fans)  The new stadium was beautiful.  Now I'm not the only member of the family to have been to a Yankees game.  All in all, not a bad way to get into our "New York State of Mind".

Best Buds about to consume copious amounts of 'Za.

After the game, we headed to a pizza joint in Yonkers.  Matthew had arranged to meet a good friend from camp, and our two families did some serious damage to several Frank Pepe Napoletana pizzas.  We had a wonderful time meeting the rest of the family, and I could tell just how much this meant to Matthew.  Shortly before his friend arrived, I asked him if he was excited.  His eyes almost glowed as he responded in the affirmative.

The next day, we got up, rode the 4 line subway into lower Manhattan and tackled the city.  We did a walking tour (gotta start at the Charging Bull and watch all the tourists rubbing the bovine reproductive mechanisms), saw the 9/11 memorial reflecting pools, had a nice lunch at the Dubliner on Stone Street under the outdoor canopy, and got a personal tour of the Time, Inc building from a friend.

The reflecting pools at the 9/11 memorial.
Someone had left this rose on a name.
This is by far my favorite artistic photo from the trip.

By this time, the Fitbit was creeping closer and closer to 20,000 steps, and we were feeling it.  So we wandered down to the Staten Island Ferry and capped off the day with a leisurely back-and-forth trip.  Felt good to just sit and look at the Statue of Liberty and the NYC skyline.   And the hot pepperoni pizza roll and Bahama rum punch that was acquired at the Staten Island terminus improved my outlook immensely.

Tell me more, Tell me more!

The next day we tackled mid-town Manhattan.  We started with lunch at the delightful Ellen's Stardust Diner, where we heard a waitress named Frenchie help sing an entire medley of songs from "Grease!".   You just cannot make this stuff up.   Next we headed over to the Rockefeller Center... since it was the wrong season to see the ice-skating rink, we wandered into the Lego Store and the Nintendo Store instead.  (What can I say? This was a family trip, and 3/5 of this family is teenage boys!)

This Lego creation inside the store is a tribute
to the sculpture and inscription on the outside of
the Rockefeller Center.

Hanging out with Mario

At the Nintendo store, the boys got to observe, and participate some, in an E3 demo of an upcoming Nintendo game.  This took a while, so Allison let me wander off on my own.. I found a kosher deli 2 doors down and had a water and a kaiser roll, and sat at the window bar and watched New York mosey by on 48th street.   I pulled out my journal and made a list of all the interesting things I saw, from the bride walking under the scaffolding, holding up her dress to keep it out of the city's detritus to the Rastafarian bike courier with the humungous backpack.   I swear, I could do this for hours... people watching has always fascinated me, and there is no better place to do it than NYC.  Alas, just as my list was really starting to get interesting, my family arrived and reclaimed me, and we headed to St. Patrick's Cathedral.

Then it was off to Times Square.  We acquired some street vendor food and took in the Hershey and M&M stores.   We did not buy anything in those stores, which fact our son Logan equated to child abuse and torture... the jury is still out!

And then... it was time for the whole point of this here trip.  Turning on 45th street, we headed to the Imperial Theater, surrendered our tickets, seized our seats, and I checked off one of the largest items on my personal bucket list.   Les Misérables on Broadway!  It was my first Broadway show, and I'm glad my first was my all-time favorite musical.  I know the music almost entirely by heart.  The production was sublime, the sets were amazing... it was everything that I had ever conceived about seeing a show on Broadway.  I sat next to the ones I love and heard that immortal line.... "to love another person is to see the face of God.... ".

Do you hear the people sing?  We did, and it was exquisite.






After the show, I acquired my souvenir print, and we wandered around Times Square some more while we waited for our car to arrive.  I'm glad the driver was a bit late, since it gave us time to show the boys the "City that Never Sleeps".  If you go to NYC, and see Times Square, you must see it after dark.  There is no "dark" in Times Square.  Ever.

The night ended with a drive up the Hudson River Parkway, and the night-time view was the perfect coda to our NYC trip.  We collapsed into bed, slept in the next morning, and headed up the coast of Connecticut.  Daddy got another "thing he wanted to do" when we swung through Newport, RI... I've always loved sailing, and some people say Rhode Island is the home of American Sailing.  We didn't tarry long, but it was nice to swing by... I had never been in RI before, I have that state checked off my list now.

And then to Boston, where Matthew had another friend from camp... we met at their house for after dinner desserts and the swimming pool for the boys.  After several hours of delightful conversation, we headed to our nightly hotel.  The next morning, we wandered around the old downtown of Portsmouth, NH.... Starbucks coffee was had... Dad got another "oceanside town" fix... and a great breakfast at Colby's to boot.

And then... the final leg.  By this point, camp was just a little less than 2 hours away.  We even arrived before lunch, as the mother-in-law had requested.

We are home.   At our second home.

We are by the river Saco.

Let the summer begin!

The Virtue of Savoring

'Is is very shameless to be so certain and so expensive?', she smiled at him inquiringly.
'It's a virtue, and anyway it's only a good plain wholesome meal.'  He turned to the maitre d'hotel. 'And bring plenty of toast'.
'The trouble always is,' he explained to Vesper, 'not how to get enough caviar, but how to get enough toast with it.'....
'That is not a well-known brand,' Bond explained to his companion, 'but it is probably the finest champagne in the world.'  He grinned suddenly at the touch of pretension in his remark.
'You must forgive me,' he said.  'I take a ridiculous pleasure in what I eat and drink.  It comes partly from being a bachelor, but mostly from a habit of taking a lot of trouble over details.  It's very pernickety and old-maidish really, but when I'm working I generally have to eat my meals alone and it makes them more interesting when one takes trouble.'
Vesper smiled at him.
'I like it,' she said.  'I like doing everything fully, getting the most out of everything one does.  I think that's the way to live.'    (Casino Royale, Ian Fleming)

Some time ago, I was listening to the sports radio talk show Mike & Mike, and they got into one of those inane, nothing-really-to-do-with-sports side topics for which they are renowned... the topic was, essentially:  "Does cheesecake taste the same when you take it home from the restaurant, or does it taste better there at the table."    Mike Greenburg was taking the position that the cheesecake tastes better at the restaurant, and Golic was saying he was nuts.. that, as long as it wasn't too long before you ate the cheesecake, there was no difference in the taste just because you were eating it from the takeout container over your kitchen sink.

It was fun to listen to them discuss this, and of course, the scope of it ranged all over, including the virtue of eating fast food at the eatery versus in the car; indeed, they did an admirable job of covering all that is truly important in the culinary lives of busy American families.  I was amused by this fun repartee by two of my favorite radio personalities.

And yet, later that day, I had the occasion to be dining alone at Pei Wei, one of my favorite restaurants, and, it being a temperate evening, I chose to dine at one of the outside tables.  This particular restaurant is in a suburban commercial setting, so the vista is not necessarily one of natural beauty, but it still provided a nice environment in the settling twilight, and ample opportunities for people watching to intersperse with reading from my book as I dined.

I was midway through my steak teriyaki bowl when I was struck by how particularly good it tasted to me that evening... and I recalled the radio show bit from earlier in the day.  Setting my book aside for the moment, I continued eating and concentrated on all my senses, and I became convinced that I was registering a singularly keen enjoyment of the food not just because of the food itself, but because of the entire experience I had afforded myself on a fine Texas evening.

In other words, the setting did matter.  A lot.

As I thought about this phenomenon more, I recalled the passage quoted above from Casino Royale, and the deep pleasure that Bond takes in ordering a fine meal and savoring it.  In his case, I think one could definitely argue that the presence of an exquisitely beautiful woman across the table from you makes a meal infinitely more enjoyable.  (I can attest to this after having had my Valentine's date with Allison Sunday night!)

Food is very sensual, in the truest sense of the word.  It can truly engage us in all five of our senses, and when we partake of it in such a way that we allow them to fully engage, I think it does change the amount of pleasure we get from what we eat.   That night at Pei Wei, I was eating the very same dish I always order there.. and the logical part of my mind knew that it was pretty much the same concoction that it always was;  but there was just something, almost indefinable, about the way it tasted that evening.

And I knew what that was. The delightful environment in which I was dining, with all its sensory input, was enhancing my sensory enjoyment of my meal.  Greenburg was right-- it made a difference where and how the food was being eaten... it made it taste better.

Will I be able to dine like James Bond for all my meals?  No, neither in expense nor time;  the demands of our lives dictate that sometimes that Chick-fil-a sandwich has to be eaten in the car on the way to the next item in the family calendar.   But, that day I resolved to enjoy my meals as much as possible.

There is a virtue in savoring a good meal.  Find a beautiful woman to share it with (or whatever applies to thee), take the meal outside if possible, and even bring a good book if that's your thing... and take your time, allowing this fine world to enhance the taste of your repast.

Savor it.

My Grandpa's Shop

(Note:  I recently attended the funeral of an uncle, the last surviving member of my mother's immediate family.  He was laid to rest in the same West Texas cemetery as my grandparents.   About a week or so later, I happened to be reading through one of my older journals and came across the following piece, written in November of 2001.  I have chosen not to edit nor revise it, even though it sorely needs it-- but at the time, the words flowed from my pen to the page of my notebook in a rush, and I have decided to recapture that here.   It is very long, and I don't expect many of my 4-5 readers to even read it, but after the death of the last member of this part of my family, I found it cathartic to type it in here and post it.)

This weekend, I have had occasion to go into my grandfather's shop for the first time in several years.   My grandfather's shop is in a two-car garage that has never housed a motor vehicle in my living memory.  It does have a carport out front, a carport that I spent some autumns on top of, sweeping off the ripened pecans that had fallen from the majestic tree that spread its limbs over the carport and my Grandpa's shop.

With a certain amount of misgiving, I inserted the key into the lock and turned the handle.  The door slides up easily, despite the age of the building, sliding up on runners that my Grandpa undoubtedly oiled over the years.  Walking inside, I am taken aback by the emptiness, the devastating space inside.

A few years ago, after the last of several mishaps caused by the fey mixture of old age & power tools, my grandfather auctioned off all his tools.  It was a necessary move, one that would prolong my Grandpa's physical life, but was also the beginning of the deterioration of his ethos, his raison d'etre.

You see, my Grandpa was a carpenter.  He was other things as well:  Christian, husband, father, cotton farmer, and owner of the only coin-operated laundry in the small West Texas town they called home.  But first and foremost, he was a carpenter.  His greatest love was working with wood, creating lovely objects both large and small.  So ingrained was his love of wood that he would return from vacations with exotic woods he had acquired from all over the country.  He would be like a young boy, full of anticipation on Christmas morning, already envisioning what he might make from this piece of wood.

Grandpa is a man who likes to serve the Lord by helping others, and he found ways to use carpentry to do this as well, such as making wooden cross necklaces for the acolytes at his church.  After their retirement, Grandpa and Grandma traveled around the country, doing mission work for the church.  Grandpa took his tools and went from project to project, restoring and repairing churches, any place where the church had need of his skills.

But during his travels, the shop was still there, populated with the crucial needs of a fine woodworking craftsman.  I had a tumultuous relationship with this shop.  I loved going out there with Grandpa, and he taught me things, things no one had ever taught me before.  As a visiting grandson, however, I was often conscripted into cleaning up the shop.  Woodworking generates a lot of sawdust, and Grandpa had not invested in a sawdust collection system for his shop.  Unless you call a floor, a broom, a shop vac and a grandson a system.  It was a matter of certainty, regular as clockwork-- shortly after my arrival from out of town, I would be enjoined to clean up the shop.

I didn't always like it at the time, but upon later reflection as an adult, it was a fair trade.  Grandpa taught me the value of a job well done, and the joy of making something with my own hands.  I learned how to fun it was to touch a gouge tool to a piece of wood turning on the lathe, watching the wood shavings fly as you shaped that piece of wood.  There is something magical about having a tool in your hands that, properly applied, can make wood seem as soft as butter.

He taught me to tie knots, and build beautiful chessboards, and how to be safe in the shop.  He lectured me often on how to properly use tools and especially power tools, so I could do so with a lesser risk of injury.

And then one day, Grandpa forgot his own lessons.  While using a table saw, he did not use a "push stick", and his hand became caught in the blade.  Except by the grace of God, he would have died.  He and Grandma live in a small town far from a trauma center.  It is a long helicopter ride to the nearest hospital that can deal with such a devastating injury.  He lost several fingers on that hand, and the recovery took a long time.  He truly was lucky to be alive.

After that incident, Grandpa would try to work in the shop, but the loss of functionality in the hand led to more minor accidents, as well as a diminished craftsmanship.  The artistry of wood was still in his mind and soul, but his hands could no longer make his visions into reality.

His family worried about him.  We knew another major accident could be the death of him, and many of us, myself included, wondered whether he should be in the shop at all.  But deep in my heart, I knew that woodworking was my Grandpa's essential fire, and I feared the day that fire might be extinguished.

Grandpa eventually made the decision himself.  He arranged for one of his sons to auction off all of his tools, and my Grandpa ceased to be a carpenter.

I tried to purchase some of the tools, but they went for much more than I could afford to pay at the time.  In some ways, it is sad to see the implements that helped define a man's life sold to the highest bidder.  Such things are sometimes better served and respected by giving them away.  But this is a real world and full of real needs, real relationships, and real emotions, good and bad, and sometimes the most noble way is not at all the most practical way.

And so the auctioneer calls, the bidders bid, and when it is all over, they back up the pickups into the carport and they take my Grandpa's tools.

And now I stand here today, in the doorway of this shop, and the emptiness is almost frightening.  The table saw, the planer/joiner, the lathe, the bandsaw-- they are all gone.  There is no trace that they ever existed, save for my exacting memory of precisely where they stood.  I pause in contemplation, overcome with grief and pity for my Grandpa.  If this shop can bring forth such vibrant emotions in me, how deep they must drive into him, the master who ran this shop.  I was but his apprentice, and the emptiness of this shop fills me with great sadness.  I cannot truly empathize with the pain of a master carpenter whose shop and tools are gone, never to return.

I hurry to finish my errand, to close this door and return to the house.  But as I do so, I understood both life and my Grandpa a little better.

I understood why he is more withdrawn.  A life's love has been taken from him by the ravages of old age, and the thing that for him defined him as a man, he can no longer do.

I also understand that this is what life is.  We cannot escape the flow of the river, and while it may wind in unexpected ways, we cannot reverse the current that always pushes us closer to the day we meet our Lord.

All we can do is to ensure that we left the river a better place than we found it.  That we beautify it with our works, our words, and our relationships with our fellow travelers.

And as I close the door on the shop, shutting out that hateful emptiness, I know that my Grandpa has done that.  He is nearing the end of the river, but the man that he is, the master who used this shop, used his skills and his love to make the world a better place.

I think of all the children from his church who have a wooden cross of their own, beautifully crafted.  The churches and camps around the country that were renovated by his hand, and are still being used to serve and worship the Lord.  The beautiful pieces that I own and cherish.

The true gift he leaves me, though, are the lessons he taught me, many of them learned right here in this shop.  Like any two people, we have occasionally had our differences.  But I would count it as all joy if my grandsons someday would feel about me as I feel about my Grandpa, and those feelings were often fired and tempered, shaped and moulded, finished and refined, in my Grandpa's shop.

The Answer really is '42'

On Christmas Day, my family went to the home of some very dear friends of ours... we have no family in this area, and it did not so happen that we had extended family visiting for the holiday this year, so our friends asked us to spend the afternoon with them.  After an delicious and voluminous meal, we settled down to play a game called 42.

For those of you who are in the seriously deprived state of not knowing what '42' is... it is a trump-based game played with dominos, which has origins here in the south (particularly Texas), and it is a slowly dying pastime.   Our friends are some of the very few people I know who play the game, or have even heard of it.  It's a wonderful game, simple to learn but difficult to master.  Legend has it that it was invented by the son of a old-time Baptist preacher-- he was not allowed to play cards, but he was allowed to play dominos, so he figured out how to play games similar to Spades or Bridge, but using "dem bones" in place of playing cards.

Like many such games, when you discover someone who knows the game, you will also discover inevitable differences in how the rules go, or terminology used around the game table.  These differences are slight, and when we first began to play with our friends, I had to adjust to their terms and variations.  The other day, as we played, one of these terms sparked a flood of memories for me, and now they flood into this blog....

First the necessary-but-hopefully-succinct explanation of the phrase... as you play 42, one of the legal bids is to go "nello" (low), which means you are betting that you will not catch any of the tricks in the hand.   Your partner does not play, and the two opponents try to make you capture one of the 7 tricks.  When you choose this bid, you must designate what the "doubles" do:  either they are normal, which means a double-six captures any domino with a six on it; or they are a suit of their own, in which doubles capture other doubles of lower number.   This choice is a crucial part of the strategy of going 'nello'.

So, why did this affect me so?  I learned the game at the knee of my grandparents in West Texas, and they always used the two phrases "doubles catch doubles" and "doubles catch their suit" to designate these options.  My friends do not use these phrases... but each time someone goes nello, when they say whatever might be said to indicate their choice, my brain always echoes the West Texas Translation into my internal ear.

And that inner voice is the voice of my Grandma.  Clear as a bell.  I can see her face, and hear the tones of her voice as she responds to the "What're your doubles doing?"

It's a very strong and pungent memory.  As so much of my memories and recollections of her and my Grandpa fade over time, this has not.  I was extremely impressed at how it resonated in my mind and soul.  It was as if she sat there at the table, an impossible fifth player in a 42 game.   It was always a treat when she bid nello.   She would hem and haw and bemoan how she was going to get set and she had no business going low with these dominos... and 9 times out of 10 she would take us all to school.

If she did happen to get set, however, her facial expressions as she played the 'losing' domino were often hilarious beyond measure.

Obviously, the memories I built around that table with my grandparents were forged in titanium, built to last a lifetime.  I was struck by the fact that they were built around a table, playing a game we loved.  As I write this, there are 3 young ladies across the coffee shop from me are gathered around a table, sharing stories and laughing gayly.  They are even having a wealth of fun and enjoyment trying to take a group selfie (which action I would personally consider a living hell), and everything about them and their interaction with each other makes me smile inside, for I know memories are being made this day.

I miss my grandparents.  I miss making memories with them, and I miss the way my Grandma would say "doubles catch doubles".

But then I think about... on Christmas Day, we returned to our home with time to spare in the evening, and my sons and I gathered around the table and played a game, one we love.. and as we battled the SuperVillains with our super-heroes, super powers and captured villains, we were making these titanium memories.  I already cherish these times with my sons, and I know in my heart that, in the future years as they go off to colleges, adult life, and their own families... I will have moments where I can hear their voices, and see their faces, and feel their love.

As we enter this upcoming year, if you resolve to do anything...  make time to be with those you love.  Put the devices away and talk, or better yet.. play.  Go buy a new tabletop game and learn to play it.. or dust off a game you've not played in years.

You won't regret it.   Titanium memories are powerful stuff.

Rites of Spring(ing) into Summer

The Welch clan arrived at camp yesterday, pulling into our 'summer place' shortly after breakfast.  This year, we brought along a cousin who had never been to camp before, and as we neared the totem poles, my boys began to teach him the traditional chant that is belted out when a vehicle enters the hallowed grounds of Indian Acres.  We had it timed perfectly, but just as they began the chant, a deer sprang out of the woods on the left, bounded across the road behind the totem poles, and disappeared down the strand of trees that line the main road.  It was a delightful way to start our 2015 camp experience, and we have decided it is a good omen.

Since we always arrive in Maine nigh upon the summer solstice, I've never really seen the break of winter into spring... but from all that I've read, the season between the snow melt and "summer" is often compressed.  As evidence of this, we often see folks around Fryeburg doing various chores that might have already been tackled in parts further south; yesterday it was workmen at the Fryeburg Fairgrounds painting the chain link fence.

In a like manner, 'spring' chores are done late at camp... since our 'spring' actually breaks when folks actually get here, and start sprucing up the camp for the summer.   Concurrently with the Fryeburg Fair-Men, some of the counselors were wielding their paintbrushes on the fences around the totem poles.

Tom Sawyers and Becky Thatchers hard at work.

The counselors and staff work very hard for many days before the first camper ever steps off a bus or van.  The gusto with which these chores are tackled speaks to the love that most of the staff have for this special place.

For the Welch clan, 'spring chores' consists of getting our cabin habitable, transporting a mountain of bags and boxes into the cabin, and carving out temporary room for the kids

Temporary digs.

until they move to their cabins next week.  Stuff left over the winter is hauled out of storage, and there is the pretty-much-required discovering of missing/broken items, and the subsequent fattening of the Walmart list.

The chair is dead, Jim

Froagie's!

Once the cabin is squared away, then the boys are off to play.  The day included Ga-Ga, tossing a baseball, an ill-advised dip in the STILL VERY COLD Saco river, a trip to Froagie's for some ice cream,
and some games on the picnic tables outside.

Nerds Outdoors.  Margaret Mead was somewhere
off to the side, taking notes on creatures
out of their habitat...

One of the best things about camp is the life lessons that it teaches these young men and women; in addition to the skills they learn at the various activities, they learn all the important "wet-ware" lessons that are essential to a well-lived life.

Day One included such a lesson... work hard first, play hard second, go to bed the best kind of tired.

Spring has sprung.  Summer is nigh.

Let Camp begin.

Life is a written journal, not a Word doc.....

The Moving Finger writes; and, having writ, Moves on: nor all your Piety nor Wit Shall lure it back to cancel half a Line, Nor all your Tears wash out a Word of it-- Omar Khayyam  (Poem #545, Rubaiyat, Fitzgerald translation)

A few weeks ago, in his weekly sermon at Frisco Bible Church, the Rt. Rev. Dr. Wayne Braudrick posited a hypothetical question: in essence, were the opportunity given to you, would you go back and edit your personal history?   Would you change your past to clean things up, or to enhance something, or...most of all... to correct a regret?

I immediately thought of 'the moving finger' quote, which I first learned of from reading, of all things, the novelization of the Star Trek original series by James Blish.  The episode 'Tomorrow is Yesterday' deals with a time paradox, when the Enterprise is cast back in time to the 1960's and is spotted in Earth's atmosphere by an Air Force pilot.  They lock the tractor beam on his plane, but it breaks up from the force of it, so they beam him aboard.  They then learn that they must put him back somehow, as he has a significant contribution to history which had not occurred yet.

I won't spoil how they solve it, but in the novelized version, after they do, Spock says "And thus we have revised Omar", referring to the quote above.

Would you revise Omar in your life?  What regrets do you hold?

I am normally of the mind that hanging on to regrets is a great disservice to one's self... and yet it would be intellectually dishonest to say that I don't have things in my own life that I wish I had done differently, things that creep into the corners of my mind occasionally, especially during times of solitude or reflection.  It's natural for these things to poke at you, raising conjectures of what might have been if different choices had been made, if one had possessed future knowledge in a past moment, if... if... if....

The dark side of this natural happenstance, however, is when these thoughts become IF...IF...IF.IF.IF.IF.IF, for obsessing over regrets leads down a path of despair, and dissatisfaction of the present moment of you.  These memories serve a purpose as a learning tool, to help you make better decisions in the future, but no one is defined purely by their mistakes.

They are defined by what they have become in spite of the mistakes.

Every single, precious, human being is a masterwork of many variables, variables that consist of both what they are (their genetic makeup as a work of God), and what they have learned (the choices they make, with the free will God grants his children).  The summation of these variables is what makes you unique... there are just too many variables involved for there to be even the remotest possibility of anything other than.... you.  Or me.  Or anyone.

Each one is a singular artistic masterpiece, painted or sculpted, and weathered by the time of our decisions and experiences.

So, consider your regrets:  would you want to 'edit' them?

I do not. (Mine, not yours.  You're on your own for yours)  Yes, I have regrets; things I wish I had done or not done, or choices I wish I had made differently.  Some of these things caused pain in the moment, and can still cause some pain in the reflection.

But I would not revise Omar.  The 'moving finger' has writ my life so far, and although I hope to learn and become better from what is has journaled of me.... I would not cancel a single line.

No more hiding! (AKA.... 'Make it so')

"His not-abundant confidence was further sapped by the sudden loss of his hair, starting in his teens.  [Sir Patrick] Stewart employed a series of hats, comb-overs, and simply walking with his head down to avoid detection.  "Wind was a nightmare," he remembers. 

Then a pal did an intervention.  Stewart had a Hungarian director friend who invited him for lunch one day.  After eating, the Hungarian and his wife disappeared into the kitchen.  They emerged with scissors, and the Hungarian   placed Stewart in a bear hug while his wife snipped off his remaining wisps of hair. 

"My friend took my shoulders in his hands and yelled, 'No more hiding!'",
"Captain Fantastic",  (Article about Patrick Stewart), Mens Journal June 2014 

In our modern culture, I sometimes shake my head, (my smoothly shaven chrome-dome), at the amount of money, time, and emotion expended by the men of our times.... in order to retain some vestige of a full head of hair.

Now, I have always been of the mind that this is a wide, wide world, with lots of people in it... and room for all kinds of tastes, interests, etc... if someone wants to spend their hard-earned money on Rogaine, or implants, or toupees... who am I to judge?  And yet....

When I read this article in Men's Journal, about the utterly magnetic Sir Patrick Stewart, I felt a desire to write about this incident from his early years, and how perfectly it captured my feelings on male baldness, and to share that to my brethren of the Human Race.

I will praise You because I have been remarkably and wonderfully made.

Your works are wonderful, and I know this very well.  (Psalm 139.14, HCSB)

Here's a news flash:  you were designed... your incredible special person created by a loving God, your inevitable, inexorable code laid out in double-helical artistry that resulted in a perfectly unique masterpiece.   And guess what?  That includes your head, and every single follicle thereupon....

Like Sir Patrick, my hair began its Exodus while I still had a "1" at the beginning of my age.  I often jokingly relate one of my favorite anecdotes about how I knew the moment of the beginning of the end:  when the smoking-hot hairstylist at the hip hair place in Austin told the cashier to charge me half-price because the cut didn't take very long.... (OUCH).  Yes, I struggled with it at first, but before long the ethos expressed in Psalms sank in... and I realized that I was sculpted this way.  

So, I make a call to all the would-be William Shatners of the world... look at your head... ixnay the ug-ray, and love yourself.  As you were made.  

But... (shout-out to Dr. Wayne Braudrick here).. in that Gordon Gekko voice of yours... you say "Men without good hair won't succeed in our society".  To wit:

• It will hurt my love life:   Bullocks.  If the woman you woo won't love you without hair, move on and find one who will.   You want a mate/lover/SO who likes you for WHO YOU ARE.  Women respond to confidence.  Trust me on this.
• It will impede my career advancement:   I will grant that this is a possibility... but the business world also sees and knows when a man is working too hard to put back what's not there... everyone knows.... just so you know.
• A lack of hair means ridicule:  Bullocks again.  The world is changing, and bald is the new sexy.  For whatever it's worth, the tide of  popular culture is turning, and the bald male celebrities are not seeing their "Q" ratings suffer... not like they used to... 

When it boils down to it, gentlemen... confidence is sexy.  

     Accept and like yourself... exactly like you were made.

          Hold your bald(ing) head high.  

               Embrace the way you were lovingly crafted.

No more hiding!