The Moving Finger writes; and, having writ, Moves on: nor all your Piety nor Wit Shall lure it back to cancel half a Line, Nor all your Tears wash out a Word of it-- Omar Khayyam (Poem #545, Rubaiyat, Fitzgerald translation)
A few weeks ago, in his weekly sermon at Frisco Bible Church, the Rt. Rev. Dr. Wayne Braudrick posited a hypothetical question: in essence, were the opportunity given to you, would you go back and edit your personal history? Would you change your past to clean things up, or to enhance something, or...most of all... to correct a regret?
I immediately thought of 'the moving finger' quote, which I first learned of from reading, of all things, the novelization of the Star Trek original series by James Blish. The episode 'Tomorrow is Yesterday' deals with a time paradox, when the Enterprise is cast back in time to the 1960's and is spotted in Earth's atmosphere by an Air Force pilot. They lock the tractor beam on his plane, but it breaks up from the force of it, so they beam him aboard. They then learn that they must put him back somehow, as he has a significant contribution to history which had not occurred yet.
I won't spoil how they solve it, but in the novelized version, after they do, Spock says "And thus we have revised Omar", referring to the quote above.
Would you revise Omar in your life? What regrets do you hold?
I am normally of the mind that hanging on to regrets is a great disservice to one's self... and yet it would be intellectually dishonest to say that I don't have things in my own life that I wish I had done differently, things that creep into the corners of my mind occasionally, especially during times of solitude or reflection. It's natural for these things to poke at you, raising conjectures of what might have been if different choices had been made, if one had possessed future knowledge in a past moment, if... if... if....
The dark side of this natural happenstance, however, is when these thoughts become IF...IF...IF.IF.IF.IF.IF, for obsessing over regrets leads down a path of despair, and dissatisfaction of the present moment of you. These memories serve a purpose as a learning tool, to help you make better decisions in the future, but no one is defined purely by their mistakes.
They are defined by what they have become in spite of the mistakes.
Every single, precious, human being is a masterwork of many variables, variables that consist of both what they are (their genetic makeup as a work of God), and what they have learned (the choices they make, with the free will God grants his children). The summation of these variables is what makes you unique... there are just too many variables involved for there to be even the remotest possibility of anything other than.... you. Or me. Or anyone.
Each one is a singular artistic masterpiece, painted or sculpted, and weathered by the time of our decisions and experiences.
So, consider your regrets: would you want to 'edit' them?
I do not. (Mine, not yours. You're on your own for yours) Yes, I have regrets; things I wish I had done or not done, or choices I wish I had made differently. Some of these things caused pain in the moment, and can still cause some pain in the reflection.
But I would not revise Omar. The 'moving finger' has writ my life so far, and although I hope to learn and become better from what is has journaled of me.... I would not cancel a single line.
